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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26576152">If I left, would you remember me?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/morereese/pseuds/morereese'>morereese</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boys In Love, Crying Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Established Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, M/M, POV Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:35:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>810</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26576152</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/morereese/pseuds/morereese</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“What?”</p><p>“I said I'm leaving. Leaving Derry.” Eddie said, again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If I left, would you remember me?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>reddie angst for soul</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, Rich.”</p><p>“Hey,”</p><p>“Would you… would you meet me in the clubhouse? I have something really important to tell you.”</p><p>Eddie knew it was going to be hard to tell Richie that he was leaving, but it had to be done. He’d told Mike and Bill not to tell him, because he wanted to tell him himself. He’d been putting it off for months, just wanting to spend as much time with Richie as possible.</p><p>He had a week.</p><p>A week until he left.</p><p>“The clubhouse? We haven’t been down there in, like, two years, Eds.” Richie laughed, and Eddie pulled the phone away from his face to sigh.</p><p>“Just meet me there, okay? Bye.” Eddie went to hang up the phone, but he heard Richie tell him to wait.</p><p>“I love you,” Richie said sweetly, and Eddie nearly melted into a puddle right there.</p><p>He leaned his forehead against the wall, “I love you,”</p><p>“I love you more,”</p><p>Richie being playful over the phone was nothing new, and normally Eddie wouldn’t mind it, but his patience was wearing thin and he was overly anxious today. He didn’t know how much of Richie being playful he could take.</p><p>“Richie. Clubhouse. Now.”</p><p>“Right, right.” Richie hung the phone up.</p><p> </p><p>Richie was there when he got there, knee bouncing like it always did, hands wringing together.</p><p>“Hey,” Eddie said, and Richie jumped up to hug him, kissing him long and slow, just like he always did, just to say <em> I miss you</em>.</p><p>Eddie couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t deserve someone like Richie, that Richie was too good for him. He kept this from him for <em> months</em>. What the <em> fuck?  </em></p><p>Eddie pushed him away softly, turning his face away.</p><p>“Eds? Is something wrong? Did something happen? Are you breaking up with me? Did I do something?”</p><p>It was typical Richie to ask so many questions, but Eddie really couldn’t blame him.</p><p>“Talk to me,” Richie said, worried.</p><p>“I’m leaving, Richie.”</p><p>Richie shifted from open to closed in a second, curling in on himself instinctively, taking a small step back.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I said I'm leaving. Leaving Derry.” Eddie said, again.</p><p>Richie shook his head, in complete denial.</p><p>“No,”</p><p>“In a week.”</p><p>“No. No, Eds, you can’t do this to me. Don’t fucking do this to me.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Rich, but I have to.”</p><p>Richie had that look in his eye, the one Eddie knew all too well. Whenever Richie got like this, he got distant and defensive, and he was vulnerable, a little too vulnerable. He was sure to snap or break down.</p><p>“Fine. Go, then. Fucking leave me like I knew you would.” Richie crossed his arms, clenching his jaw. “Who am I to you, anyway? I don’t mean enough to you for you to stay, or at least take me with you. Just go.”</p><p>“You know what? I can’t fucking do this anymore. Fuck you. Fuck you. Okay? Fuck you for making me feel like this.” Eddie said, because he couldn’t just let Richie go off and say all this shit to him. “It’s not my fault, Rich. It’s not my fucking fault. I don’t have a choice because - because <em> she’s </em> making me go. Don’t you <em> dare </em> blame this on me. You don’t have the fucking <em> right. </em>”</p><p>Richie’s arms fell away from his chest, and his shoulders tensed up. His breathing became extremely uneven, and his face scrunched up.</p><p>He was going to cry.</p><p>He sobbed loudly and fell to his knees, hands tugging roughly at his hair, forehead pressed to the ground. Eddie went down after him, wrapping his arms around him and removing his hands from his hair so Richie could cry into his shoulder into his shoulder, instead.</p><p>Eddie hated to see him cry, hated the way he could see all the emotions flowing out of Richie’s body through his tears. He hated the way he sounded when he cried, the complete opposite of his laugh, the laugh that Eddie loved so much.</p><p>The sobs Richie was letting out sounded almost like screams, screams of pain. Eddie knew he was hurting, and he just wanted to take away all his pain, just stay in Derry and keep him smiling, keep him happy.</p><p>But he couldn’t.</p><p>“Don’t leave me,” Richie whispered weakly, hands clutching Eddie’s jacket, holding on tight like his life depended on it.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Richie. I don’t have a choice.”</p><p>“Fuck. <em> Fuck</em>,”</p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just didn’t want you to be worried and sad in our last days together.” Eddie ran his fingers through Richie’s hair, scratching his scalp softly.</p><p>“Can we just… spend this week together and forget all about it until the time comes? I just wanna be with you for as long as I can,” Richie said, and Eddie nodded.</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah, we can do that, baby.”</p><p> </p>
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